Whistling.
High pitched whistling began to flood our ears. The man in front of me turned around.
“TAKE COVER!” he yelled. The whistling was then replaced with the sounds of hell. Explosions started to erupt on either side of me. I dove into the nearest hole I could see and just curled up into a ball. All I could hear were explosions. Mud began to speckle my body like rain as the bombs ravaged the Earth. Then just like that, it stopped. To me it seemed like ages past but it was only over in a matter of seconds. After the ringing in my ears stopped, it was replaced by the screams of injured men. I slowly rose out of the hole and was greeted by many more. I looked about the battle torn field and saw hundreds of men turned into hundreds of casualties. I pulled out my medical pack and ran to the nearest man. Blood was gushing out of the spot where a leg used to be. I froze and my body became numb.
Men were scattered about, each one of them begging for my help. I gained control of my mind again and went to help the man in front of me.
“Please help, I can’t feel my leg,” the man cried.
“You’re going to be just fine soldier.” I lied. This man was going to bleed out in a matter of minutes. I pulled out a morphine syringe and plunged it into his thigh. A look of bliss and relief came over his face.
“I’ll come back for you.” I lied again. This man was gonna die on the battlefield. There was nothing I could do. I ran over to the next casualty.
“Please! For the love of God, help me!” the man pleaded.
It took me a second to register what had actually happened to this poor soul. Fragments of metal riddled his torso along with his lower half that was scorched beyond recognition.
“Please end it.” He pointed at his rifle.
“No, I can help you, I promise.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, I can see it in your eyes. I'm not gonna-”
Before he could finish, he started into a coughing fit. A fine line of blood leaked from his mouth, streaking down his chin like a small stream of fading life.
“Now stop feeding me lies and put me out of this misery,” he begged.
I couldn’t bring myself to even touch that rifle. That is one thing that I vowed not to do. I came here to help people, not hurt them. You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. . .
I reached into my bag and pulled out another syringe.
“Don’t you dare stick that in me. If you want to leave me to die just leave now,” he spat at me.
I can’t; I will not allow myself to take another life.
“This will help with the pain and it will be over before you know it.”
He couldn’t stop me, for he was immobile. So I took the syringe and before I pierced his damaged skin. . .
“DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!”he yelled.
I sunk the needle into his shrapnel riddled leg and pushed the plunger down. I made sure every last drop of the viscous fluid was gone. Thunder and lightning raged through the sky, and a light sprinkle of rain began to fall upon us. His face was first filled with hate and pain, but then it was left with just hate.
“Leave me.” he uttered.
Those would be his last. With one last coughing fit, he became rigidly still. I sat there with a feeling of guilt and unease.
“Come on soldier we gotta keep moving, there is a forest up ahead that will give us some cover,” an infantry man said to me.
I picked myself up and packed my medical bag. The mud covered the entirety of the bag, along with the blood of my comrades. As I walked with the remnants of my battalion, I began to feel anxious. The sound of marching drastically changed to the sound of gunfire.
“AMBUSH!” The guy in front of me yelled. He went to go for cover but a stream of lead stopped him in his tracks. He flopped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I dove behind a fallen tree and hugged my legs to my chest. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?
“Soldier, we have to get moving n-” someone said, but before he finished his sentence, he was interrupted by a bayonet piercing his heart.
“Du bist der nächste!¹” the german infantryman yelled at me.
I was filled with fear and I looked to my left and saw the handgun of one of my fallen comrades. Before the German had time to react, I dove for the gun and unloaded the mag. I filled his chest with lead; I didn’t even take a second to think about what to do. Suddenly, time stopped. I wiped the mud and blood off my eyes. I swore the man had a dark aura around him, and a red gleam to his eyes.
“Who do you think you are?” the demonic aura questioned, darkening my very soul.
“What do you mean!?! It was just my instinct!” I exclaimed.
“Well, you get to pay for your ‘instinct’,” the dark being said.
“I DIDN’T WANT TO DIE! WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!” I shouted
“Nothing, for it is human nature to save oneself. This time though, it will cost you dearly.” he exclaimed, piercing my heart.
He cackled loudly and all of a sudden time resumed.
“Verdammt nochmal²” he coughed as he fell to the ground.
I laid there appalled and numb. I just took another man’s life. Was that being real or was it just from shock. A second later, one of my comrades picked me up and rushed me to the rest of our battalion. The path we were on was very muddy. All of us were either exhausted and or going insane.
In the distance I could see another forest. As I gazed upon the pine trees, a sense of fear and Deja Vu flood my body. I turned to the soldier beside me.
“Weren’t we just in this forest?”
“How would we be in the same forest? We’ve been walking straight this whole time.” he said.
I shook myself and blowed it off as anxiety. I mean who would be sane in this war. We entered the forest and the sound of our marching could be heard throughout it. The sounds of war, the popping of machine guns, the explosions of mortar fire. We were not greeted by the sounds of nature. Nature had receded to escape from the war. If the trees could move, I think they would have been long gone by now. All around us were mortar holes. Everything seemed really familiar. We marched along and as we walked we heard the whistling.
The same. Damn. Whistling.
The man in front of me turned around. The same man that told me not to administer the morphine. How was he alive?
“TAKE COVER!” he yelled, and all hell broke loose.
I dove to the nearest mortar hole. How was this happening, I was just in this hell. Mud began to speckle my already bloody and muddy clothes. Then it all stopped, and the explosions were replaced with the screams of the injured. I tried to find that man. I rose out of the hole and scanned the scarred battlefield. Dread began to fill my body. I saw the same man who lost his leg, begging me to help him.
“How are you here, how are you alive!?” I asked in desperation.
“Please, just help me! I can’t feel my leg!” he whimpered.
I pulled out my bag and when I opened it up, there were no more morphine syringes. They had all just disappeared. The only thing in it was that hand gun.
“Soldier, I..I can’t help you.” I said numbly. I grabbed the handgun and flung it away from me as far as my tired limbs could throw.
“Please, at least put me out of my misery; the pain is unbearable,” he begged. I got up and left him. I wasn’t going to take another life.
The next man I saw was the man with the metal fragments ingrained into his body. “How are you back? A few hours ago I saw you die! How is this possible?”
“What the hell are you talking about, God the pain, please just end-” he said, but before he finished his sentence he started into a coughing fit. The same coughing fit from earlier.
“I’ve already been through this, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?” I yelled up at the heavens. Rain began to fall on my face, lightning streaked the sky.
“I can’t help you sir, there is too much bleeding!” I explained solemnly.
“Please, just end it then.” the man begged.
I sat there despondent. I was stuck with my guilt. I could not will myself to kill this man.
“I can’t kill you; I am not a killer.” I said.
“Then leave me here to die. Don’t stick me with that damned needle,” he spat at me. I looked into my bag and there was one needle… and the handgun.
“As you wish.” I said. As I went to leave the man to die, my body froze and forced me to open the bag. My hands had a mind of their own, grabbing the morphine and the needle.
“DON’T YOU DARE!” he yelled but after that, my hand plunged the needle into his leg.
“DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL!” he yelled at me before he closed his eyes for his permanent slumber.
“I already am…” I said.
“Come on, soldier, we gotta keep moving. There is a forest up ahead that will give us some cover,” one of my comrades said.
I picked myself up and packed my medical bag. I had done this before, I didn’t want to do it again. I regrouped with the remnants of my battalion. We began walking toward the forest. That God forsaken forest. We entered that tree line and it was the same forest.
“Are you absolutely sure we aren’t going in circles, I mean we just got ambushed here!” I said.
“ Are you mad? We have been going straight this whole time. Are you shell shocked or something?” the soldier next to me said.
I begin to feel my conscious slowly go into shambles. This must be some sick nightmare and I need someone to wake me up PLEASE.
“AMBUSH!” the soldier in front of me yelled.
The same man that would soon be riddled with bullets before making it to cover. I dove towards the same fallen tree. All those feelings of Deja Vu became mere memories of this horror I’m living in. It feels like I’ve only been here a few hours. How long have I really been here?
“Soldier, we have to get moving n-” the same soldier from before said. The same one interrupted with a blade to the chest.
I looked on in horror as the German ripped the serrated blade out of the man. I heard the sucking noise as it came out of him. He collapsed with a stunned look on his face as blood gushed out of his chest. Terror filled my body and just as I had done before, I snatched up the handgun. I pointed the gun at him and my finger paused on the blood stained trigger. I could either die to this man, or I could save myself. The German began to charge at me. Time was slowed and I was filled with fear.
I DON’T WANT TO DIE, GODDAMNIT!
I pulled the trigger and the end of the handgun lit up. I just kept pulling the trigger. After a few seconds, the popping was replaced with dull clicking. The German stood in stunned silence, as small red spots began to fill his gray coat. He fell to his knees.
“Verdammt nochmal” he uttered before he fell face first into the dirt.
One of my comrades picked me up and rushed me to the remnants of our battalion rushing out of the forest. We began walking on the path. The one caked in mud. Around me those same mortar holes got bigger.
Then the whistling.
¹You're next!
²Damn it all.
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